My parents have spent the last few months having their garden redone, turning it from something akin to an abandoned inner city allotment to a leafy landscaped retreat. It was finally finished a few weeks ago, and I managed to take some photos on the one weekend of sunshine it has seen since completion…unfortunately with all the English Summer Rain™ there has been, I don’t think I’ll be able to enjoy prolonged weekend usage of it until next summer.
Posted in Sport on July 18th, 2010 by Vasanth Subramanian – View Comments
Group A
Uruguay
What did we know about Uruguay a month ago? 1) Homer Simpson thinks they’re called ‘U R Gay’. 2) They won the World Cup twice, before most of our parents were born, and then became rather unremarkable. 3) Manchester United had a striker who was from there a few years ago, and he was awful. Or WAS he? Diego Forlan, now 31 and having been excellent in La Liga for a few years, is the main reason Uruguay massively exceeded expectations and reached the semi-finals this year. A quality defence helped, as did Luis Suarez (at both ends of the pitch).
Mexico
A few years ago, whilst playing Football Manager, I made the bold statement that Mexico would win the 2014 World Cup. They won’t, but they should do very well. Why? Because they currently have an excellent 24 year old keeper (who didn’t play this time) and a handful of quality attacking players barely out of their teens. Some of these players did well in South Africa, especially Gio Dos Santos and Javi Hernandez, but their defence couldn’t deal with Messi, Tevez and an incompetent linesman.
South Africa
Oh, Bafana Bafana. They started so well, with a great goal by the excellently-named Tshabalala, but Mexico’s equaliser and a fairly heavy defeat by Uruguay condemned them to being the first World Cup hosts to fall at the group stage. Some pride was restored in their final match though by beating the hilarious French team.
France
I wish I were Irish, not just for the accent, but for the sheer karmic delight it would have given me to see France crash and burn so spectacularly (yeah I know, laughing at the misfortune of others is probably in itself bad karma, but whatever). Tantrums, expulsions, strikes (hilariously stereotypical, they might as well have turned up on the pitch with berets and baguettes) and the alienation of their playmaker and Zidane-replacement Yoann Gourcuff (see awards section) all combined to send the French home early and give the rest of the world a good laugh.
Group B
Argentina
Maradona’s team came into the tournament with five forwards who had a ridiculous 155 goals between them at club level this season, 105 goals between the first-choice three (for the sake of comparison, England’s four strikers had 76). Also, one of those Argentinian forwards happens to be the best player in the world. It remains a mystery how Lionel Messi didn’t score, especially with all the chances he created, and the goals from other players for which he did all the work. After some brilliant attacking displays, and finding themselves arguably the favourites following Brazil’s exit, La Albiceleste were shockingly ripped apart by Germany in a match that found many England fans doing something they never thought they’d do – supporting the Argentinian football team, with the Hand of God at the reins, no less.
South Korea
Would it be unfair to call them the team who reached the second round in the least exciting manner? Probably, since I only watched one of their matches. The game against Nigeria, practically a play-off for qualification, looks to have been fairly exciting, with the 2002 co-hosts going behind early on, then taking a lead, and ultimately scraping through with the draw that ended up being all they needed. Put up a good fight against Uruguay but were ultimately undone by Luis Suarez’s goals.
Greece
Still playing dull, defensive football under their dull, defensive Euro-winning coach Otto Rehhagel, Greece lost to South Korea in their opening match and looked to be exiting the tournament against Nigeria until a sending off tipped the balance in their favour and they came from behind to win. Continued to do their dull, defensive thing against Argentina until they eventually succumbed to the unlikely pair of Martins, Demichelis and Palermo. Would have gone out even if they had got the draw, though.
Nigeria
It was looking good for the Super Eagles until 33 minutes into their game against Greece. They’d lost to Argentina, but everyone was going to lose to Argentina, and they’d managed to only do it by one goal. They were a goal up and completely dominating Greece until Sani Kaita’s idiotic, death-threat-inviting sending-off. Even after the Greece match, Nigeria found themselves in the reasonable position that as long as Argentina didn’t lose to Greece, a win against South Korea would put them through, but they couldn’t do it. After the tournament Nigerian president Goodluck Jonathan decided to rip apart the Nigerian Football Federation and ban the team from future competitions. FIFA, displaying their usual intelligence, told him that he had to stop intervening or they would ban the team from future competitions.
Group C
USA
If this World Cup doesn’t make the States fall in love with “soccer”, nothing will. Under horror-film-escapee Bob Bradley (seriously, he looks like he eats the souls of children), the USA did not have a single dull game. There was the comedy equaliser against England, coming from 2 goals down against Slovenia to being denied a win only because of an incorrectly ruled out goal, having about 200 shots and another wrongly disallowed strike against Algeria before scoring in the final minute to top the group, and finally their honourable extra-time defeat to Ghana.
England
Where to start? You know something’s not right when you find yourself warming to Ashley Cole. But the despicable little Chelsea man was the only England player who performed to somewhere near the best of his considerable ability throughout the tournament. Unfortunately, left-backs can’t generally win games by themselves. Do any of the rest deserve commendation? David James was solid, and if he’d been in goal for the opening game maybe things would have been different. Frank Lampard was great against Germany, and I’ll never forget the look on his face when that goal wasn’t given. John Terry displayed a hell of a lot of passion against Slovenia, but the fact that you can’t see him in any of the replays of the German goals is somewhat telling. And annoyingly, Rio or Ledley wouldn’t have made the same mistakes Upson did. But what to do. As for the future, I’m hopeful. Jack Rodwell, Jack Wilshere, Adam Johnson, Danny Wellbeck, even Ryan Shawcross…there’s a new “Golden Generation” potentially lying in wait, just pray no one calls them that before they actually achieve anything.(like that you mean? – V)
Slovenia
The smallest nation at the World Cup, and fairly regularly dismissed as a “Championship level side” by commentators, Slovenia put up a good fight. They shouldn’t have lost a two-goal lead against the USA, but they did give England a couple of scares at 1-0. Looked to be going through to the knockouts at the final whistle of their final game, only to be heartbreakingly informed that Landon Donovan’s goal had knocked them out about a minute later.
Algeria
I will always remember Algeria for taking part in the dullest and most infuriating and disappointing England match I’ve ever seen. They did defend well though, and Nadir Belhadj, arguable the most talented player at Portsmouth last year, looked good going forward too. Inability to score meant they never really had a chance of making it out of the group, and didn’t.
Group D
Germany
To quote someone who may want to remain anonymous, “If they were a movie star, Germany would be Emma Watson. Young and attractive and though you don’t really feel comfortable declaring it in public, you’d want to see them go all the way.” No one was really talking Zee Chermans before the tournament, but they sure as hell were pretty soon. Ballack’s injury might have been the best thing that happened to them – I can’t see where he’d have fit into that side, many of whom are young enough to be his children, or at least nephews. Also, Klose’s World Cup scoring record since 2002 reads 5, 5, 4, which probably officially makes him one of the greatest strikers of all time…
Ghana
The Black Stars were, quite simply, brilliant. Would they have been even better with Michael Essien, one of the best central midfielders in the world? Well, they had Kevin-Prince Boateng instead. Joking aside, the Ghetto Prince was one of their best players, showing why he was once captain of the…um…German U21’s. But anyway, even without Essien, Ghana should have been in the semi-finals. It was amazing to see half the world adopt them as their second team, and completely and utterly heartbreaking to watch them get knocked out after one of the most dramatic endings I’ve ever seen to a match.
Australia
I think it’s fair to say The Socceroos did not have the best of starts to the tournament – getting their best player rather harshly sent off halfway through an absolute mauling by the Germans. They made a decent recovery though, drawing with Ghana before pulling off a shock victory against Serbia. Had Ghana lost 4-0 to Germany rather than 1-0, Australia would have gone through in their place, but the Germans were saving up their four-goal games for a bit further down the line.
Serbia
I once read an article pointing out that if, ignoring all the massive political issues, Yugoslavia were to spontaneously reform, they’d have a terrifyingly good team. The Slovenian goalkeeper (remember the England game), the Croatian midfield (Modric and Kranjcar), Bosnian Edin Dzeko, Macedonian Goran Pandev and Montenegran Mirko Vucinic up front…and the Serbian defence. In South Africa, however, the latter was extremely disappointing, with Vidic, Ivanovic and co keeping a clean sheet to beat Germany, but losing to the other two teams to finish bottom of the group. An easy-on-paper win against Australia would have sent them through.
Group E
Netherlands
If Germany are the new Brazil, then the Netherlands are the new Germany. Having sauntered through qualification with 10 wins out of 10, they then cruised through the group stages by being more Nationalmannschaft than Total Football. Once Arjen Robben was sufficiently recovered from injury to pretend to have lots more injuries they started clicking a bit more, and produced a great fightback to beat Brazil. Wesley Sneijder, their best performer, somehow finished as joint top scorer even though one of his goals was offside, one was a Brazilian own goal that FIFA bizarrely credited him with, and one was a keeping howler. However their tournament will always be remembered, rather than for the flair moments like van Bronckhorst’s 35 yard screamer, for the Marc van Bommel inspired “cage fighting” they brought to the tournament, especially the final. It did provide the rather amusing sight however of van Bommel, the worst offender, somehow getting away with several bookable fouls against Brazil, only to be rather hilariously cautioned in the last minute for kicking the ball away when he mistakenly thought the final whistle had gone.
Japan
Coming into this World Cup, the Blue Samurai had never won a World Cup game outside their own country. They lost all three of their warm up matches against South Korea, England and the Ivory Coast. Hidetoshi Nakata, their best ever player, retired 4 years ago at the age of 29. However none of these things would deter their coach, Takeshi Okada, from declaring that he was confident of reaching the semi final. Two wins later, against Cameroon and Denmark, Okada started to seem more like George Takei than Mr. Shake Hands Man, and their star player, Keisuke Honda was one of the players of the group stage. A second round match against Paraguay could have allowed for a sensational quarter final place, but in the end the match proved to be an anticlimax as the Japanese went out on penalties.
Cameroon
Note to Paul le Guen: I’m not sure what planet you’ve been on for the last 10 years, but Samuel Eto’o is one of the best centre forwards of the decade, and certainly one of the most clinical finishers Africa has ever produced. HE IS NOT A RIGHT WINGER. Cameroon lost their opening match to Japan, largely due to le Guen’s inexplicable decision to maroon Eto’o on the right touchline, where he could be found sulking for much of the match. Le Guen finally saw sense before their Denmark game and relocated him to his natural position. Now I’m not saying Cameroon are a one man team, but their “give it to Samuel” strategy payed off within 10 minutes as he blasted them into an early lead. The damage had already been done however, and Cameroon wasted more chances in throwing away their lead to exit the tournament with 0 points, Africa’s worst performing team.
Denmark
Denmark brought a whole phone book’s worth of Poulsens to South Africa, but it was their stars with an English connection that were expected to deliver. However Thomas Sorensen played more like Rob Green, Jon Dahl Tomasson looked like he needed a taxi to get around the pitch and Dennis Rommedahl, after producing a “that can’t be the same player that was so godawful at Charlton” performance against Cameroon, produced a “oh, wait, yes it is” performance against Japan. Tomasson just about managed to become Denmark’s record joint top-scorer, but only after missing a penalty and nearly shanking the rebound wide, crippling himself in the process. Smooth.
Group F
Paraguay
One of the South American contingent that, until the quarter finals, made all the pundits (including yours truly) confidently predict a South American tournament winner. Paraguay were never going to be serious contenders, but helped produce one of the most ridiculous passages of play I have ever seen. This is what happened in the quarter final against Spain: one penalty that should have been made to be retaken but wasn’t (and was saved), one defender that should have been sent off that wasn’t, one penalty that should have been made to be retaken and was (and was saved), and one penalty + goalkeeper red card that should have been given and wasn’t. In about 75 seconds.
Slovakia
Like all the shit TV pundits at the World Cup, I probably won’t be able to tell you much about Slovakia other than they were involved in one of the games of the tournament when they beat Italy in a 3-2 thriller. They didn’t beat New Zealand (but then, who could?) but still qualified for the second phase whereupon the Netherlands unconvincingly put them out.
New Zealand
New Zealand, often criticised as a country for being behind the times, arrived in South Africa, the land of apartheid, black oppression and Nelson Mandela, styling their team as the ‘All Whites’. Maybe they didn’t get the memo. Anyway, without any major diplomatic incidents occurring, the All Whites set about trying to improve on their first World Cup performance in 1982 (Played 3, Lost 3, Scored 2, Conceded 12). A last minute goal salvaged a draw against Slovakia, before a stirring rearguard helped knock out defending champions Italy. Another draw against Paraguay meant New Zealand did what Spain, Brazil, Germany and the rest could not achieve, namely ending up as the only team undefeated in South Africa. Brilliant.
Italy
Italy came a close second to France in the “Which 2006 finalist can fail more spectacularly?” race. An ageing team, hoping for 1 last hurrah, much like the French 4 years ago did not have their own Zinedine Zidane to carry them through the tournament. Their poor pre tournament form and initial draws against Paraguay and New Zealand did not stop the sorry excuses for TV pundits from proclaiming that “the Italians have had a slow start, so they’ll probably win the whole thing now.” Cue a 3-2 defeat to Slovakia and arriverderci to the Azzuri.
Group G
Brazil
Perhaps the only country with a more sensationalist football press and fervent fan base than England, Brazil have ridiculously high standards. They are expected to win every game, and their fans are not satisfied unless it is by a four or five goal margin. Indeed, they booed their World Cup winning captain-turned-coach Dunga for his winning-ugly philosophy and chanted taunts against their own player Filipe Melo, for basically not being Ronaldo. Kaka, Robinho and Luis Fabiano did provide them with some attacking flair, supported ably by Maicon, the latest in a long line of Brazilian full backs doingridiculousthings. However as soon as things got vaguely difficult against the Dutch, the Brazilians just self destructed, with fan favourite Melo getting himself sent off for a stamp on Robben and threw away a 1-0 lead. Dunga promptly resigned the next day in order for a new coach to take on the totally stress free task of leading them to glory in 2014. In their own country. Oh.
Portugal
Cristiano Ronaldo + 10 is how Portugal approached the tournament, hoping their sturdy defence would hold out long enough for the gelled one to do something. Anything. Their attacking display that put 7 goals past North Korea conned some pundits into thinking they could do it against a proper team, but they failed to score any past the Ivory Coast, Brazil and Spain, leaving their star man to deal with his own soap opera life, allegedly involving a mysterious American woman, the world’s best chat up line and a baby that he named, entirely modestly, Cristiano Ronaldo. (Note: ‘allegedly’ doesn’t refer to the baby. I’m pretty certain he has a baby)
Cote d’Ivoire
Pity the Ivory Coast. At their first World Cup four years ago, they were placed in a group with the Netherlands and Argentina; this time round they ended up with Brazil and Portugal in their group and Sven-Goran Eriksson as their coach. Considered Africa’s strongest side, they were undone by the draw and by Didier Drogba breaking his arm in a warm up friendly against Japan. Drogba heroically recovered enough to take part in the tournament, but was not at his marauding best. A tense 0-0 draw against Portugal meant they had a glimmer of a chance but a 3-1 defeat to Brazil coupled with Portugal’s hammering of North Korea effectively ended their hope, though they finished with a consolation win over the North Koreans.
North Korea
Ah North Korea. Any mention of their footballing pedigree, like England’s, inevitably turns to 1966 and their 1-0 win over Italy on the way to the quarter finals where they somehow went into a 3-0 lead against Portugal, only for Eusebio to basically knock them out single handedly (final score: 5-3, Eusebio scored the first 4 Portuguese goals). With next to nothing known about the team, and drawn in the Group of Death, not much was expected of them, but they fought out 2 decent halves of football, one against Brazil (HT: 0-0) and one against Portugal (HT: 0-1). Unfortunately for them however, in the other 4 halves they played, they conceded 12 goals and scored just one. No revenge against the Portuguese, their 7-0 defeat meaning that this generation of North Korean footballers will probably be struck from the history books in Pyongyang by a small, angry, ronery man.
Group H
Spain
La Furia Roja finally overcame decades of World Cup underachievement, winning more than 1 knockout game for the first time (!) to lift the trophy in Johannesburg on July 11. They were not free of criticism however, with their usual slick tiki-taka passing game sometimes looking aimless rather than clinical, and their 4 consecutive 1-0 wins in the knockout stages being more workmanlike than spectactular, wearing down the opposition with high pressing and 60% possession. They were lucky not to have to face Brazil in Round 2, but clinically dispatched everyone else (except Switzerland, ha), including shackling the free scoring Germans. Iniesta and Villa were magnificent, and any team that can afford to have Pepe Reina and Victor Valdes as backup keepers, leave Fernando Torres and Cesc Fabregas out of their starting lineup, and STILL win the World Cup probably have something going for them.
Chile
Chile trod the fine line between madness and genius with their 3-3-1-3 formation, with Alexis Sanchez and Jean Beausejour providing some real attacking flair to counter their rather…er…robust tackling. They beat Honduras in the most one sided 1-0 you’ll ever see, but their inability to convert more chances cost them dear as they ended up finishing second to Spain on goal difference (by 1 goal). Their all out attacking approach very nearly undid Spain, but in the end they accumulated so many bookings that at least half their team was suspended at one point or another. This resulted in an under strength side falling to a tame 3-0 second round exit against Brazil.
Switzerland
Ottmar Hitzfeld added to his impressive managerial CV by guiding the Swiss to a shock 1-0 win over Spain in their first match, with the extremely-Alpen-sounding Gelson Fernandes scoring. This was supposed to lead to a Spain-Brazil second round match-that-should-have-been-the-final but the Swiss could not build on their performance, and exited after failing to beat Honduras.
Honduras
Two words: Wilson Palacios. That about sums up my knowledge of Honduran football, so I’ll pass you over to DW on Sport for this excellent article on how the beautiful game can have such a big impact on a small nation. As for the World Cup however, they lost to Spain, lost to Chile and drew with Switzerland. Adios.
Posted in Sport on July 14th, 2010 by Vasanth Subramanian – View Comments
So the World Cup is over, all the footballers are back home (and probably hungover if you’re in Madrid). What else is left to do but to let the reviewing commence? Thanks to Yavi, who helped me write this. I’d say he took time out of his busy schedule, but he has the work ethic that an Ibrahimovic-Berbatov partnership would. First up: awards!
“Quality player whose team has done really well but they themselves have been fairly crap” award This rather ungainly-titled award is really just an excuse to point out the strange fact that Robin van Persie and Fernando Torres, two of the best strikers in the Premier League, saw their teams get to the World Cup final despite their own individual performances, which have been utterly unimpressive. So it’s not really an award at all, in fact. Especially since I haven’t even chosen which of the two to give it to.
“Bet he wishes he played for a different country” award Yoann Gourcuff is 23 years old, intelligent, well-educated, articulate, a nice guy, pretty damn good-looking, capable of scoring goals like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdVzzvMEG08 and arguably the most deserving of the 486 players who have been labelled the ‘next Zidane’. Unfortunately, for many of the reasons above, the rest of the squad hates him. To the extent that the boy who should have been one of the tournament’s brightest young stars was allegedly the victim of childish “We’re-not-going-to-pass-to-him” behaviour from Anelka and Ribery. Domenech bowed to squad pressure to drop him for France’s second game, which they promptly lost, then brought him back for the last match, where he was rather harshly sent off for accidentally elbowing a South African player whilst jumping. He stayed on the pitch for a while to make sure the other man was alright, though. Told you he was a nice guy.
Maradona
Allow Messi, Argentina’s star in this tournament was the same person it was 24 years ago – Diego Maradona. As his team cruised through the group stages and second round, people started to wonder if maybe he was a much better coach than he’d been given credit for. I maintained that he simply had too much attacking talent to work with to be able to screw up, as well as having the undying love and respect of his players by virtue of having been a childhood hero to each and every one of them. But he was a highly entertaining figure on the touchline, and what he brought to the tournament was summed up by this commentator exchange:
“He’s basically a fan in a suit, isn’t he?”
“That or a character from The Sopranos.”
“Oh, that’s why all the girls are watching” award Becks in his suit. Enough said. But as well as providing eye candy for those so inclined, Sir David (one day, just you watch) continued to demonstrate the passion he always had as England player and captain, as well as further endearing himself to millions with his reaction to Rob Green’s blunder, which led to one of the best World Cup virals I’ve seen: http://www.melcarson.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/obama.jpg
Also, he taught James Milner to cross, without which we might not have even made it into the knockouts.
WTFouls
Nigel de Jong on Xabi Alonso (the Bruce Lee)
Filipe Melo on Arjen Robben (the dirty stamp)
Estrada on Fernando Torres (the injury feign)
Gerard Pique on Oscar Cardozo (the hammer throw)
Kaka on Abdel Keita (the feather touch)
Sani Keita on that Greek guy (the WTF)
Lifetime achievement award: Marc van Bommel
Non-goals of the tournament
Kaka vs the Netherlands – finally, some world class samba football, but Stekelenburg kept out Kaka’s top-corner-bound curler
David Villa vs Honduras – one of the seemingly endless decent long range shots that hit the bar/post
Cristiano Ronaldo vs North Korea – like this one
Frank Lampard vs Germany (no, when he hit the bar) – and this one
Lionel Messi vs Greece – he just couldn’t score. Not even with this flair dribble/shot that instead ended up as a tap in for Martin Palermo
Best pub quiz question award
Q: Which was the only nation to make it through South Africa 2010 unbeaten?
A: New Zealand
Yavi’s team of the tournament
Gyan Forlan Villa
Robben Sneijder Honda Mueller
Coentrao Lucio Puyol Maicon
Enyeama
Vasanth’s team of the tournament
Villa Forlan Mueller
Iniesta Sneijder
Schweinsteiger
Lahm Lucio Piqué Maicon
Casillas
Most annoying moment for Fantasy Football managers
Dutch goalie Maarten Stekelenburg, a popular and high-scoring choice due to the clean sheets he kept in the group stages, looked to have kept another one in their second round game against Slovakia. Then, 3 minutes and 15 seconds into 3 minutes of second half injury time, he conceded a penalty, got booked (minus points for each of those) and then failed to save the spot-kick, losing the large clean sheet bonus. Wall-punchingly infuriating if you had him in your team, utterly hilarious if you didn’t but your friends did.
Mythbustersaward
Apparently this was a really boring World Cup, won by a really boring team. And all the games were really boring. A quick think helps me remember that for various reasons, the following games were all enjoyable. Argentina vs South Korea, South Korea vs Nigeria, South Africa vs Mexico, Brazil vs North Korea, Brazil vs Netherlands, Ghana vs Uruguay, Spain vs Chile, Ghana vs USA, Slovakia vs Italy, New Zealand vs Italy, Slovenia vs USA, Argentina vs Mexico, Japan vs Denmark, Denmark vs Cameroon, Chile vs Honduras, South Africa vs France, Netherlands vs Uruguay and all the Germany games (especially the third place match vs Uruguay and excluding vs England of course…).
Ok, so the final turned a bit brutal, no thanks to the Netherlands, but the Spanish were worthy winners of the tournament. Excluding their harassing of referees to book players and the occasional dive (but who doesn’t? Even golden boy Mesut Ozil was guilty of some Oscar worthy acting), their football was immensely technical, pleasing to watch whenever their passing got going, Villa, Casillas and Iniesta were magnificent and the only reason their matches were mostly 1-0 was probably due to Torres doing his best Emile Heskey impression. Oh and every one of their opponents (except, heroically, Chile) did not endeavour to do much more than sit back, soak up the pressure and try and wait for a mistake. It worked for Switzerland but thankfully, Spain showed it’s possible to have the best team technique and triumph, even if it was at the expense of goals.
Best matches
Germany vs Argentina – solid defending, midfield flair and some prolific strikers led to the devastating counter attacking performance of the tournament, eclipsing even the 4-1 win against England in the previous round.
Chile vs Spain – I touched on this above, but Chile were the only team who really went at Spain. For the first 20 minutes or so, they out-Spained Spain, with some flair attacking, but were undone by their keeper having a rush of blood to the head, and an extremely harsh red card for Estrada before half time. Even 2-0 down and with a man down, they continued to attack, pulled one back and refused to give up until near the end when the result meant both teams would qualify.
Japan vs Denmark – I described this in more detail in my Group Stage review, but this was well good. Honda was awesome, two free kicks were scored, Denmark managed some decent attacks, but it was pretty much all Japan, all the time, all attacking. Shame that they went out to Paraguay.
Honourable mentions: Germany vs Uruguay, Slovakia vs Italy, Germany vs England (unless you are English)
Bore draws
France vs Uruguay, England vs Algeria and Paraguay vs Japan. The less said about those games the better.
Player of the tournament
…and it wasn’t even a player. Maradona, as is his way, gets to have the last word. In Argentina’s match against South Korea, a defensive clearance drifted out towards the dugouts, falling out of the sky towards Diego, clad in a full suit and brogues. What does he do? A cheeky first time backheeled volleyed flick straight to the fourth official. Bloody genius.
Posted in Sport on June 25th, 2010 by Vasanth Subramanian – View Comments
So here we are after 2 weeks of the first African World Cup, with the group stages at an end and the knockout stages about to commence. Who have been the winners and losers so far?
Siphiwe Tshabalala (South Africa) vs Mexico – good build up play and great through ball finished off by a left foot thunderbolt. Oh and the celebration wasn’t half bad either.
David Villa (Spain) vs Honduras – demonstrating why Barcelona just shelled out £34M for him, slaloming past a couple of defenders into the box before cutting inside and sticking it in the far corner
Fabio Quagliarella (Italy) vs Slovakia – someone finally displays control of the infernal Jabulani, with a delicate chip from outside the box floating just over the Slovak keeper.
Honourable mentions: Keisuke Honda and Yasuhito Endo’s free kicks against Denmark, Dennis Rommedahl’s goal against Cameroon and Brett Holman’s 30 yarder against Serbia
Dishonourable mention: Luis Fabiano vs Ivory Coast. We all saw you handball it. Twice. Samba football? Pfffft.
Mysteries of the tournament
Why was the first round of matches (mostly) rubbish?
How has Lionel Messi not scored yet?
How has the woodwork denied several possible goals-of-the-tournament already? (I’m thinking Ronaldo vs North Korea, Villa vs Honduras, Derdiyok vs Spain, Alonso vs Switzerland and Uche vs South Korea)
Diego Maradona
Will del Bosque or Dunga ever smile?
How did France not sack Domenech before the tournament?
Patriots of the tournament – Diego Maradona and Jong Tae-Se
Just contrast the majority of the English players mumbling along to God Save the Queen with Jong Tae-Se, North Korea’s star striker, bawling his eyes out to his country’s national anthem at the start of each match.
As for Maradona, well, have you not seen him during a match?
Cinderella award for biggest fairytale – Martin Palermo
The Argentinian forward, cast out into the international wilderness for 10 years was recalled by Diego Maradona last year, promptly scored the vital winner against Peru that helped secure qualification, then earned a place in the World Cup squad at the age of 36 as their sixth striker behind Lio Messi, Carlos Tevez, Gonzalo Higuain, Sergio Aguero and Diego Milito, but manages to come on against Greece and score. I have literally never seen anyone look so happy after scoring a goal, nor seen a manager look so pleased. Bless.
Disappointment of the tournament – the African Nations
It all started so well. Siphiwe Tshabalala, not content just with possessing the greatest name in the tournament, opened World Cup 2010 with a bang, his left-foot rocket and remarkably spontaneous, un-choreographed celebration for the South African hosts being just what was needed to get the party started. Then it all started going downhill. First Mexico got an equaliser in that opening match to deny the hosts victory. Then a 3-0 surrender against Uruguay meant that an improbable win against France coupled with a five goal swing from Mexico to them would be required to see them through. Unfortunately, even though they won 2-1 against the catastrophic French, South Africa were ultimately left ruing their last minute strike against the woodwork against Mexico, the last minute goal conceeded against Uruguay and the missed chances against France, all of which conspired to make them the first host nation to bow out in the first phase. They were not alone – with the exception of Ghana, all the other African Nations promptly bombed out too.
Cameroon were perhaps the most disappointing, the Indomitable Lions looking more like tame pussycats as they meekly succumbed to Japan, before throwing away a 1-0 lead against a Dennis Rommedahl-inspired Denmark. A 2-1 defeat against the Netherlands saw them sink to the bottom of their group with nul points. Algeria had the lowest expectations, and duly went home with 1 point and 0 goals.
The Ivory Coast were hugely unlucky to be drawn in their second successive Group of Death with Portugal and Brazil, and have Didier Drogba unfit with a broken arm (after Argentina and the Netherlands in 2006), but a tedious 0-0 with Portugal followed by a 3-1 loss to Brazil effectively ended the Ivorians’ challenge. Nigeria put up a better fight, but a kamikaze moment from Sani Keita against Greece that had him sent off signalled the beginning of the end for them, and they finished bottom of their group with a point.
Only Ghana have survived to fight another day, mixing African flair with some European organisation and steel, though ironically, their best performance came in their 1-0 defeat to Germany. A six team allocation to the continent now looks generous, and should be expected to be reduced for future World Cups until more nations can overcome the African stereotype of “talented individuals, poor team”.
Surprise package – Japan
Japan’s unexpected 1-0 win against Cameroon in an uninspiring match devoid of much incident, – courtesy of Keisuke Honda’s tidy finish and Paul Le Guen’s inexplicable decision to play Samuel Eto’o, one of the most clinical centre forwards of the last decade, on the right wing – gave them their first World Cup finals win outside their home country. Building on this win, they put in a much improved performance against the Netherlands, and even though they went down 1-0, they impressed with their ability to play an attacking passing game and not resort to aimless long balls as other tournament teams (*cough* England *cough*) have done. The icing on the cake was their 3-1 rout of Denmark, a hugely impressive performance of verve, invention and craft, with a standout performance from Honda. His excellent touch, creative passing and striking power were all on show, from his Cristiano Ronaldo-esque free kick to the wonderful drag-back that humiliated Dennis Rommedahl and set up the final goal for Okazaki. The Danes, in the words of the BBC commentator were made to look ponderous and predictable, and not even Jon Dahl Tomasson’s late penalty rebound made you doubt anything other than a Japanese victory. I wouldn’t bet against them springing another surprise against Paraguay in the last 16, nor would I be shocked if Keisuke Honda is a name that gets much more exposure in the following season. He plays for CSKA Moscow at the moment and scored the free kick that took them to a best-ever Champions League quarter final last season. A move to one of Europe’s big leagues beckons.
Coming in to the tournament, the defending champions were not expected to retain their title, with an aging squad (the oldest in South Africa) and a lack of pre tournament form (draws with Cameroon and Switzerland, and a loss to Mexico). However, not many people would have predicted the abject nature of Italy’s World Cup, seemingly going through the motions much of the time and failing to muster much creativity or attacking threat against the modest opposition that Paraguay, New Zealand and Slovakia were expected to provide. Fabio Quagliarella’s delightful chip against Slovakia was the only moment of real quality the Italians provided, and the image of their 2006 defensive rock and captain, Fabio Cannavaro, being effortlessly turned and outpaced by New Zealand striker Chris Wood will usher many of this squad into international retirement. But hey, at least their star striker didn’t swear at the coach, get sent home and provoke the squad into going on strike.
Honourable mention: Vuvuzelas – you might be loud, annoying, obnoxious, monotonous and atmosphere-killing, but hey, at least you’re not France.
Honourable mention: the Jabulani – you might be too light or too heavy, swerve too much or not quite enough, fly too high or too low, act funny at altitude or at sea level, but hey, at least you’re not France.
Looking ahead
Looking at the knockout stages, it’s remarkable that one of the USA, Ghana, South Korea and Uruguay will be a semi finalist, 4 nations who in the modern game aren’t renowned for success at the World Cup. Their quarter of the draw should make for some interesting matches as they fight for this rare opportunity, but my feeling is that Uruguay will make it through to the semi final, based on their organised defence (no goals conceded) and in Forlan/Suarez they have one of the best strike partnerships in the tournament.
England will be ruing their dire performance against Algeria and their missed opportunities against the USA and Slovenia – a single extra goal in any of their three matches would have seen in them in that quarter of the draw as opposed to the one they find themselves in where they will have to beat two of Germany, Mexico and Argentina to make it through to the last four. I don’t want to underrate those other teams (god knows the tabloids do enough of that), but I do not see England’s aging, slow defence being able to cope with the all around attacking potency of Messi and co. if they meet in the quarter final.
As for the other teams, in general the South Americans have outperformed their European counterparts, with Chile looking like a very tidy outfit, with Alexis Sanchez provided a cutting edge. Brazil do not have the flair that the Classes of 58, 70 or 82 possessed but will still probably prove too much for Chile in Round 2, having beaten them 3-0 and 4-2 home and away in qualifying. The Netherlands have looked more efficient than anything else, but the return of Arjen Robben for the knockout can only boost their chances. Spain can consider themselves lucky to go through, the European Champions being thoroughly outplayed by Chile in the final group match until Villa’s great 45 yard lob, and Torres got Estrada sent off by prolonging the apparent “injury” from their accidental tangle of legs.
My picks for the final? Before the tournament it would have been Spain vs Brazil, but after seeing the apparent form of the various contenders through the group stages, I would revise that to Argentina vs Brazil. With Maradona and Messi lifting the trophy in Johannesburg on July 11.
So I’ve spent the last few days off work visiting Cambridge and watching constant World Cup matches (posts about which will follow soon…). One of the other things I did (with the help of a few friends) was to visit my old Emmanuel College with a camera, torch and tripod to try my hand at light painting. Light painting is basically a technique using a long manual exposure and then “painting” in the scene using a torch or some other light source. For shots with people in them, I used the flash to freeze them in the picture. More examples of light painting on flickr and digital photography school.
So here we are, almost 6 years after Oceanic 815 crashed on September 22nd 2004, and in the intervening time we’ve had our minds wrapped not just into knots, but hyperspheres, as we’ve witnessed how our survivors deal with polar bears, smoke monsters, crazy French women, four-toed Egyptian statues, one armed Asian scientists, time travel, hydrogen bombs, disappearing cabins, mysterious numbers and frozen donkey wheels. Sometimes all in one episode.
And now it’s over. With the 2.5hr finale on May 23rd (there are those numbers again…), Lost was brought to a conclusion that inevitably divided opinion with accusations of a “cop out ending” traded off against proclamations of the “greatest TV finale ever”. I’ll start off by saying that I fall into the “loved it, but…” camp, and I’ll try and outline why. Obviously, there are spoilers ahead.
For the people saying the strength of the finale was totally dependent on whether you cared about the characters or not, I’d say that’s not entirely true – it was also dependent on how much weight you individually gave to needing more clarity on mythology. I can see how someone might sit through the finale hoping to catch a flashback of some Egyptians building the statue, see the other half of the infamous outrigger chase from Season 5′s time travel or an explanation for any dangling plot threads may feel hard done by, even if they were invested in the characters. Though I found myself anticipating at least one of those things (come on, who was expecting Miles and Richard to get shot at on their way to Hydra Island?), the full resolution of all the character stories in both worlds was as satisfying as I could have hoped for.
As for the true nature of the ‘flash-sideways’, I liked it, and found it satisfying. For me, it had three main strengths – firstly, it kept the whole audience guessing as to what it was, a large scale mystery to keep us engaged till the last 5 minutes of the final season. Secondly, rather than cheapen the entirety of island events as some people say, I feel that the alternative, an ‘out’ whereby the two realities merge in some way would be the cheapening experience, as it would negate the deaths, tragedy and development the characters have experienced. One comment I saw said that this afterlife concept meant that nothing on the island mattered as when they died they were all together and happy. I think this is precisely backwards – they were all together BECAUSE of everything that happened, meaning it all mattered. The ability to see some sense of how these people might have been had they been able to achieve something approaching their full potential offered a lot in terms of payoff, without lessening the impact of their development over the last few years. Finally, it offered an overarching theme and message that’s resonated throughout the whole run of Lost – that of community and the ties that bind. If Lost is a story about stories, and all stories tend towards death, then the message is powerful. They lived together so they wouldn’t have to die alone.
As an addendum to the afterlife segment of the show, while it may hinder some people’s enjoyment of a rewatch, knowing these segments weren’t ultimately ‘real’ in the flesh-and-blood sense, I stand by what I said that the character payoffs you get make up for that. Also, I don’t think this world was presented in an inconsistent way – comments about “why did Sun get shot if it’s their perfect life?” and “does this mean Jack’s son did not exist?” don’t seem to appreciate fully that this world was entirely unreal and existed as I see it for two purposes – firstly to allow the Oceanic survivors (plus a couple of important extras) to ‘move on’ with those that they spent the most important time of their life with, and secondly to allow the characters an opportunity to flourish that they were denied in life. Examples: Sun + Jin appreciated each other and had their family life a lot sooner than the island allowed them; Jack’s relationship with his ex-wife doesn’t end in creepy stalking, and he becomes the father he wish he had; Sayid is able to protect Nadia whilst being able to let go and come to terms with the realisation that he was not supposed to be with her in a way that he was never able to do on the island.
As for the mysteries, mythology and inevitable accusations of ‘unanswered questions’, I have the following to say: I disagree that too much was left unanswered, but am not unsympathetic to the notion that there was unfulfilled potential. As I see it, there were a few simple things Lost could have included or cut out to satisfy many more people than it did, and that fact is kind of infuriating. For instance, when the Oceanic 6 made it to Eloise Hawking’s DHARMA church, a simple line where she said she used the station’s island finding properties to send them a food drop would have illustrated the station’s purpose even further and tied up one loose end. Not including that damn outrigger chase (or using one of the MANY opportunities when people have been rowing between islands this season to tie that up) would have been simple. “Across the Sea”, the Jacob/Smokey origin story, missed many tricks (a glimpse of Egyptians, even if superfluous, would still have been satisfying), but its most glaring flaw was failing to provide some sense of the consequences of Smokey’s intent to leave the island. Without spelling out in more detail what might happen to the wider world, or why the Light Cave was so important, it made it harder to understand the bigger picture of the conflict.
With these immediate thoughts out of the way regarding the finale, I’ll probably return to composing another post or two on Lost, perhaps covering the mythology, characters and overarching themes of the show in more detail. I’ll just finish by saying thanks to all my friends who I watched the show with on a regular basis; bouncing around ideas and theories for this show has been more fun than with any other. But hey, at least Fringe is still around…
Posted in News on May 6th, 2010 by Vasanth Subramanian – View Comments
2:33am Right, so signing off before bed. Quite annoyed that the “Vote Clegg, get Brown/Cameron” campaigns seem to have done the trick. Expect to wake up to find Cameron PM of a minority government.
2:07am Just realised what’s been bugging me about Jeremy Vine. He looks like he’s moving like a puppet on strings.
2:01am Not many big gains for any party so far. Good for Labour, bad for Conservatives, baffling for Lib Dems.
1:47am “Yes we Khan”. So this isn’t the ‘Internet election’ or the ‘Facebook election’, I’m calling it as the ‘try and copy as much of Obama as we can election’
1:42am Apparently the Cons didn’t gain one of their target seats in Tooting.
1:40am Looks like El Gordo is gonna try and hang on if at all possible, but that’s like saying I’m going to try and continue breathing as long as possible.
1:33am That is a bit pointless Beeb. “Gordon Brown holds seat” not really a headline. And the Libs didn’t take Durham. Hmmmmm
1:32am Oh come on! Switch from a marginal to Gordon Brown’s constituency?! That’s ridiculous.
1:31am Lab-Lib marginal about to be announced in Durham. Do they agree with Nick?
1:20am Possible big story in the offing: Greens gain first seat in Brighton. Possible non-story in the offing: Exit poll was bollocks. But don’t expect the broadcasters to make a big deal of calling it wrong.
1:15am Finally, the results are starting to flow. Impressions so far: Labour are in trouble, that exit poll probably isn’t going to be mentioned again unless followed by “was wrong” and Cameron may well get his majority.
1:09am First Lib-Con marginal about to be announced
1:05am Uh oh, things looking up for Cameron. Gained their 135th most likely target seat. And they only needed their top 116 for a majority.
1:02am Oh my, why haven’t I been watching more of the Channel 4 coverage. I switch back and find David Mitchell being funny, and Fonejacker taking the piss out of the BNP. And it’s going to end now. #sadface
12:58am So 2 more hours until I plan on sleeping.
12:53am Just thought; who organises this party for all the celebs on the Thames, and what’s it in aid of? Any excuse for a drink or 10? And it’s Peter Snow! That’s where they’ve put him…
12:48am Oooh, more results coming in. Lab: 5, Lib: 1, Other: 3.
12:40am Next drinking rule: For every mention of “it’s a serious concern” re: polling station farce. Also, 2 results from Northern Ireland.
12:34am It’s been nearly an hour since the last result, we’ve descended back into deja vu speculation and some people still haven’t voted. Is this what happens every time?
12:28am Handbags once more! Ken Clarke getting grumpy that he was upstaged by a picture of Gordon Brown smiling. Well, it is a collector’s item Ken.
12:23am Handbags again! Paxman vs Dimbleby this time. Lack of sleep (and results?) getting to everyone
12:17am Handbags! Tessa Jowell mouths off about Joan Collins’ botox. Stirrer-in-chief? Obviously Paxo.
12:08am Tech screw up no. 5 – “Let’s go to Sheffield now, and Nick Clegg”. Actually, no Dimbleby, that’s Kirsty Wark.
12:06am Another Youtube video to get you through the small hours (unless you’re a Tory. Standard)
12:02am Also, a virtual staircase?! Really? I hope Jeremy Vine falls over through the greenscreen.
12:00am So, an Ashcroft target seat gets a 4.8% Lab to Con swing, the two ultra safe Labour seats get swings of 8.4% and 11.6%. That’s value for money right there.
11:57pm Wishing I had a penny for every time the commentators tried to get politicians to second guess the result and evasiveness resulted.
11:47pm Right, bored of TV, let’s have a quick trawl for any specks of comedic gold dust in the vast trough of horse manure that is the internet.
11:44pm Hooray, all the commentators are back to “We have no idea” mode.
11:42pm Oh and as my token gesture to equal coverage, let’s give the BNP the amount of covera
11:41pm Lib Dem: 7,191; Lab: 19 thousand and applause; UKIP: 1,094; Con: 12,770. Yay, I get to stay up. *goes to make tea*
11:39pm Tech screw up no. 4 – field reporter not hearing that she should be shutting up and getting (un)gracefully faded out…
11:39pm So Sunderland Central about to be announced. Apparently if the Cons win this, we may as well all go to bed now, and wake up to Call me Dave in No. 10.
11:37pm First user contribution sent in! This is the great British public people. I wish I was this person’s friend so I could spread some of that good ol’ Facebook ‘Like’ love.
11:23pm Result from Washington about to come through, but I doubt Obama is going to care *poor pun* (That’s Washington & Sunderland West if you’re not keeping up)
11:19pm Woop woop first Tamil of the night, Rajini Vaidyanathan. Tamil-watch: 1, though probably won’t go very much higher…
11:16pm Tech screw up no.3 – Losing the video of Kelly Homes and Dom Joly. Still nothing as funny as Paxman’s silly walking imbecile on Newsnight last night. Monty Python eat your heart out.
11:11pm Aha, let’s see what Ian Hislop has to say. Can’t wait for HIGNFY tomorrow either. Also vaguely disappointed by Bridget Phillipson. Bit of a moon face. Also, if I ever end up in the public eye, this blog will probably come back and force me to resign. Future angry public: I’m not serious! I don’t objectify women.
11:10pm Christ, Dimbleby laying into the election organisers for all the queues of people who haven’t been able to vote. He’s right though, it’s “third world politics”.
11:03pm Right, next drinking rule: every mention of “wait and see”
10:57pm Well that was like finding a green Starburst in a packet of oranges. Now that the moment of excitement is over, back to thumb twiddling and looking up Bridget Phillipson until the next results…
10:53pm Oh wow, a bit of a looker too. Not that that’s important. Ahem.
10:48pm Need some seats to be declared please, I’m already bored of this repetitive hypothesising.
10:45pm Bring back Peter Snow! All is forgotten now that we have the Vinebot on screen.
10:43pm So to summarise so far: Glib-watch: 5, Tech screwups: 2, Actual declared seats: 0
10:41pm Another two glibs! If glibs were votes, I’d be betting on them
10:40pm You wait so long to hear the word ‘glib’ in conversation, and then it happens 3 times in 20 seconds.
10:37pm Microphone screw up no.2: Paxman and Alan Johnson. Maybe I should also have kept count of how many “don’t worry, it’s only an exit poll” mentions there are. But then I’d have exhausted myself by about 10:02.
10:34pm Good article from the Independent about those different outcomes. Exit poll suggests second or third in their list.
10:30pm Hmmm, been reading up from the knowledgeable politicos over on BBC, Guardian et al. about the different possible outcomes. If they’re right about the amount of political posturing/dealmaking that could happen from tomorrow, then it could be a very long month. Rest assured, I will not be liveblogging it.
10:23pm Hah, great expression on the Lib Dem guy’s face when Paxman asked him if he would consider getting into bed with Peter Mandelson.
10:10pm Ok, already tired of Jeremy Vine and his almost-useless CGI. I get the sense that election night is prime peacocking from the broadcasters. So far: “Here is what may or may not happen. Now let’s interview a whole bunch of people about what may or may not happen. And rehash everything that may or may not happen.” Drink for every mention of “we stress, it’s just the exit poll”
10:04pm 9 minutes in, the first techno snafu. Gotta love live TV. Though I don’t particularly want to hear from Michael Gove.
9:59pm Yeah ok, I don’t think high definition is being kind to many of these presenters. Sorry Nick Robinson
9:57pm I think I instantly prefer Jeremy Paxman’s “naughty step” to Jeremy Vine’s profound “If David Cameron wins, he’ll open the door of Downing Street…and go in”
9:55pm And we’re off! Ooh er, David Dimbleby in HD isn’t pretty.
9:50pm So just before the polls close, here’s my top and bottom moment of the campaign:
The good: Obviously the debates, for catapulting Nick Clegg into the limelight and, even if you’re not a Lib Dem, offering a pathway to electoral reform and a fairer voting system that’ll help you voice your opinion regardless of what party you support. As an example, my constituency, Orpington, is a “fairly safe” Conservative seat, and even though I supposedly have 1.26x the voting power of the national average, I am pretty sure my vote will not amount to much.
The bad: The media hatchet job on Nick Clegg. The media overhyping of “Bigot-gate” (urgh). The media frenzy in “Spin Alley” after each debate (brilliantly described as the arseoisie in the Guardian). Generally the media. Again, I refer you to Enemies of reason (9:36pm) to explain this better.
9:36pm I would give you a bit more political commentary and media analysis, but I would rather direct you to the infinitely more eloquent Anton Vowl and his blog Enemies of Reason, which is exceptionally good at illustrating why, if nothing else, we should keep our fingers crossed that it shouldn’t be The Sun “wot won it”.
9:31pm Hah, Prof. Brian Cox is “the walking, talking Stephen Hawking”. Thanks Jimmy Carr. Will make a note of that. The prof is also on the C4 show later. Might have to switch over for that…
9:30pm Not enough David Mitchell on Channel 4′s alt broadcast. Only 25 mins till the real thing begins though…
9:24pm First big controversy of the day – apparently the BBC have changed the music they use for their Election broadcast theme. Check out the new theme + titles here. And some enterprising soul has already replaced it with the old tune, Rick Wakeman’s “Arthur” (see embedded video below). Old tune is a bit better I suppose, but as this is my first election broadcast, as with so many other things – I don’t really care.
9:14pm Let it never be said the British press lacks originality.
USA, Summer 2008
Guardian newspaper, April 19th 2010
Sun front page, May 6th 2010
As ever, the internet had the final say.
9:08pm Oh, and go vote if you haven’t already! 52 mins. Also, Nigel Farage gets the “Most Committed Politician” Award for going the extra mile to make sure his name dominated today’s election footage.
9:01pm Am already getting annoyed that I don’t have my new laptop yet and my TV and my comp are on opposite sides of the room. Already got neck cramp from all the turning.
9:00pm Election fun starting on C4 with Charlie Brooker et al.
6:44pm Evening internet, welcome to my take on tonight’s proceedings as we see who gets to be our next PM (let’s be honest, it’s probably not going to be Gordon). I’m off to have dinner, and maybe a little nap before things kick off, but I’ll be back just before 10, which is when polls close and all the fun begins. Hope you’re prepared with your election night parties, it’s obviously far more important than sleep, exam revision or anything else that you might be doing between the hours of 10pm and 4am. See you soon.
So it was my birthday last week, and upon reaching the grand old age of 23, I spent the weekend celebrating with some of my university friends who are still at Cambridge (and some who came from further afar). Suffice to say that the whole weekend was brilliant, and I’m extremely grateful that those who could come took the time out of their exam revision to do so. There were two cakes (chocolate fudge, and apple plum & rum), too much food, warm sunshine (well, until the heavens opened during dinner) and some photo opportunities around town during the day. So apart from saying thanks to everyone who made it fun (thanks!) , here are some of the better pictures. The Emmanuel College ones were taken with a circular polariser which is what makes the clouds really pop out of the sky.
Comparison of numbers of google search results with “Yavindran”. Click the graph to see it full size. All multi word phrases are searched for in quotation marks, so the only results returned are where those words appear in that order. The last two may be a little personal. Sorry Yavi.
